


After it All

by blasphemattock



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Afterlife, Angst, M/M, One Shot, Sad and Sweet, slightly horny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blasphemattock/pseuds/blasphemattock
Summary: I wrote this roughly five years ago when I replayed the trilogy- I was always intrigued by the possibilities between the first turians you meet in the game, and for some reason have shipped them since I very first picked up the game when I was 14.Mass Effect is such an important series to me and this is one of my first ever works for it, enjoy~





	After it All

The pink flowery trees of the courtyard were unmoving under the artificial sun and the sound of distant conversations buzzed through the air, yet no one was to be seen.

The Citadel? Not exactly where he expected to spend the rest of eternity, at least not in the lovely state that it was in now. It felt more like a punishment to him than some happy afterlife- after all he had done, all of the things he could never take back and some of which he so gladly did even in the end... He didn't deserve to have such peace after it all, maybe this was just some cruel reminder.

The turian stood on the bridge overlooking the glimmering lake, talons on the banister and eyes looking nowhere inparticular until he caught a red glare beside him. Someone else began leaning against the banister, clad in black and red and clearly sticking out against the rest. 

"What is this?" Saren hissed, turning against the familiar turian and beginning to walk away.

"I thought that was obvious enough," the voice of Nihlus replied in his usual tone, "but of course your first instinct is to walk away."  
Saren turned on his heel and glared back at his old friend, who hadn't taken his eyes off of the lake yet. This was definitely punishment, no heaven in the universe would subject him to looking at him again, not his pale green eyes or trusting composure... not like this.

A gunshot echoes through the Presidium and he cringes at the sound, but it didn't seem like Nihlus had heard it.  
"Why are you doing this to me," Saren asks. It didn't feel like it was directed at anyone, maybe more to himself for thinking of that again, but Nihlus answers regardless.

"You would prefer some other victim of yours?" 

Sarens mandibles twitch at the sudden pang in his chest. He would in fact have preffered anyone to this. Though the younger turian stood before him looking healthy as ever he imagines that blackened hole in his head; all of that blue blood pouring down his face and turning the red of his armor a dark grim purple.   
He tries not to look at him again, but the steel beneath him darkens with that blood and he can almost feel the warmth under his feet. This is what he deserved, how stupid of him to think that it would go differently.

"You're unusually quiet," Nihlus' voice broke through the vision and Sarens head snapped up.

"This is not how I..." He began to lie, but this is exactly how he meant for it to be. Sovereign had no control over him, not in the beginning. It was his own hand that killed his student, it was because his blackened heart and twisted mentality that he didn't look back in remorse as he bled alone on the planet that was supposed to be blown to ashes. He was always like this, and for what? To save himself.

"Shepard was and... Still is... Right," He began after a moment, "I've been a coward. All of this was an act made in self-interest... I was looking for a way to save the world while making sure that if I couldn't, then... At least I..." There was another uncomfortable silence and he continued, quieter, "I should have known that I was as disposable as anyone."

"Don't mention it," Nihlus replied almost too comfortably. Saren looked at him with furrowed brows and the usual metallic sneer.

"This is a joke to you," He growled.

"No, it's serious, but it's over and done with and you're stuck here. That's just how you're going to need to see it... It's only going to feel like Hell because you make it that way."

He wanted so badly in the back of his mind to feel Nihlus under his talons again like that last brief moment on Eden Prime- that small meanignless shoulder touch that would be the last he ever felt, but what if he acted on it? Would his old friend just disappear like any phantom in a nightmare? As if he had read his mind, Nihlus appeared beside him and placed a hand on the Spectre's metal shoulder.

"You... You're not really him... Can't be," Saren said quietly.

"Would you believe me if I told you otherwise? Would it matter?" 

"I suppose not," He would let himself believe it. The warmth on his shoulder was too realistic, his friends eyes too alive looking up at him; it was almost too much.  
"You owe me after that shoddy date on Prime," Nihlus joked once things got too quiet.

"You're full of humor aren't you, even after death," Saren rolled his eyes, but it was looking less like a joke when Nihlus was standing in front of him, hand moved from his shoulder to the nape of his neck and their chest plating touching with a metallic noise. 

This wouldn't be their first physical interaction, though that included clawing and ripping at each others faces when there was a disagreement (which he would always initiate), but this instance was incredibly different. This was nothing like the hunger fueled incidents that would have his Spectre-in-training face first, sweating and panting on the steel floor of a shuttle or pressed against the wall of the Spectre Hall... His touch was too comforting, too loving and it made him sick.

Something gave and he leaned in anyway, pressing their faces together and pushing him back into the railing. Nihlus reached one arm back to brace himself and keep from leaning too far over and wrapped the other around the ex-Spectre's neck, who was gripping hard at his waist. There was no urgency to rip away the armor plating and have him bent over the rail, no rush of adrenaline when Nihlus bared his neck to him to which he would kiss rather than dig his teeth in- instead he was completely content with where they were right now. They both were.

Nihlus breathed out a pleasant sound at the warmth of Saren's mouth on his throat and not worrying about being left bloody like any given time before. They were together and comfortable at the same time, which was also new... But it was good.

"There's a movie I'd like you to join me for," Nihlus said once he caught a breath.

Saren groaned against his neck and answered without pulling away, "Not another installment in that awful saga you're strangely enveloped in, I hope?"

"Fleet and Flotilla, I don't suppose you've heard of it? Not that you're interested in the stuff, but I think you'd like it."

"And why is that?"

Nihlus laughed and pulled back just slightly, "Because it's awful."

He began to step away, letting his hands linger in Sarens for just a second and started walking down the bridge. Something about the world began to shift- the artificial sunlight began to lose its warmth and the sound of people conversing died down.

"Are you coming Spectre?" Nihlus asked from the end of the bridge.

"I'm not sure I deserve that title anymore, much less anything else," Saren began walking toward him and things livened up again...

"What about friend?"

He was beside him again and suddenly people began walking through the Presidium and the sound of lake water gently lapping against the walls could be heard.  
None of it made sense, but if this is what his afterlife had in store then who is he to complain? He laced his talons into Nihlus' and followed him home, like he would have liked to do in the beginning, had they met on better circumstances... But they were here now.


End file.
